Would you like mayonaise on them peaches, hon?

One day, while Britney was slaving away at Bob’s Muffler, she had an epiphany: “What on earth am I doing working at Bob’s Muffler?” she thought. Although this wasn’t the first time that thought had popped into her head (it was a frequent occurrence happening approximately once every other hour everyday that she worked, and often some of the days she didn’t i.e. Independence Day, Christmas, and every Sunday), it would be the last. This one was brought on by another hopeless argument with Jim about the English language. Britney was too grammatically correct to let Jim continue to pronounce his “M”s as “N”s any longer. In a fit of rage, she grabbed the trash can and tipped it over and yelled, “I HATE YOU I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS DAMN WORLDDDDDDDDDDD!”
The only car she really had access to at this point was the Daewoo. So she had to work with her resources. While driving to pick up Ally to give her the wonderful news, the visor in the Daewoo obstructed her vision, causing her to hit a patch of dirt on the road and spin out of control, and fly over a center divider and into a pole. Well, she was shaken but she knew exactly who to call. Well, not who so much as what number to dial: 222.2222. Unfortunately, the “Accidentes!” hotline had been disconnected to accommodate phone numbers for the growing population, much like the popular “Time” hotline (which I am still not over, by the way). So she called the next best thing: Allyson.
Allyson came quickly to the rescue. They decided that it would be in everyone’s best interest to just leave the Daewoo for dead at the site. Someone would probably find it and use it to flee the country. It was a sad parting, but they both knew that the Daewoo was destined for bigger and better things; much like Allyson with Target, and Britney with Bob’s Muffler, Daewoo wouldn’t be held back from his dreams any longer! Now there was one thing left to do. Ally and Brit had to figure out what their dreams were. They decided to figure it out over a bite to eat.
After a few minutes of driving, they came across a posh new diner in town called “Bacon”. Britney was pretty sure that they had read about this restaurant in a book about New York, but Ally insisted it was called “Beacon”. They were seated promptly, but realized very quickly that they must have been thinking of a different restaurant… they tried to determine whether they were eating lunch or on the set of a Larry the Cable Guy Movie. There were stuffed woodland creatures staring at them. It was quite disturbing, really. They weren’t like the cute woodland creatures from your average Disney movie. They were rabid-looking raccoons, possums, skunks, and some sort of creature that looked remarkably similar to gremlins, post-submersion in water. This place was straight up from “A Goofy Movie”!! They decided to just grab a bite from Chipotle after the waitress asked, “Would you like mayonnaise on them peaches, hon?”.
Mmmmm, Chipotle. It was over a couple of tasty burritos that they decided to rob a bank, follow all of their favorite bands around on tour as the most amazingly chaste groupies ever to live (the only exception to the ‘chaste’ aspect being a run in with John Krasinski), and also to buy a trendy Manhattan apartment, equipped with a fire escape and an exposed brick wall… the best part being their attractive next door neighbor, who was gone filming movies and the hit television show, The Office, a lot of the time, but enjoyed crazy evenings of ranch with a side of pizza and games of “What if?” when he was home.